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Tag: Parenting Tips

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Don’t say -When I was your age- with your kids

Kara Powell is one of the brilliant minds leading student culture thoughts/leadership in our country.  She posted this a bit ago but I just go around to passing it along to you guys.  These are great insights for parents, youth workers, teachings, or ANYONE who works with students.  Sounds simple but I find myself saying it all the time and then I catch myself after.
“When I was your age…” I’m guessing all of us have said that to a teenager or emerging adult we know.  An article two days ago in the Wall Street Journal suggests that might not be the best approach to take these days. Here are some excerpts from the article I found particularly interesting: “Eighty-two percent of those ages 18 to 29 (and 79% of those 30 to 74) believe there is ‘a generation gap’ in America, according to a Pew Research Center poll last year. The gap was defined as ‘a major difference in the point of view of younger and older people today.’ That’s up from 60% of Americans in a similar poll in 1979, and it’s even higher than the 74% registered in a 1969 poll, taken at the height of the youth-rebellion movement. Back then, political and social issues created the gap between baby boomers and their parents. Today’s youth cite generational differences in ‘perspective,’ ‘work ethic’ and ‘technology’—which helps explain their reservations about their elders’ input.” Here are some practical tips from teens and young adults on how to talk with them:
  • Question your assumptions: What worked in your youth might have little relevance today.
  • Offer suggestions, not pronouncements: Say ‘you could’ not ‘you should.’
  • Welcome a dialogue: Listen, don’t lecture; you’ll learn things and give better advice.
  • Resist saying: ‘When I was young…’
  • Don’t belittle technology: If you’re critical of social media, young people may dismiss you as a dinosaur.
  • Accept your limitations: The young understand the world today. Sometimes, the best advice is: ‘Trust your instincts.
At FYI, we are very committed to exploring intergenerational ministry and relationships; we continue to see its importance in our research.  This article reminds us all that we need to be aware of how we sound to the ears of young people
ORIGINAL POST HERE.  If you like this you might want to sign up for the Fuller Youth Institute Blog. They're always bringing the goodness.
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Safest cities in America for Children

According to Men's Health magazine, the Top 10 Safest Cities for Children are: 1.) Madison, Wisconsin 2.) Honolulu, Hawaii 3.) San Francisco, California 4.) Virginia Beach, Virginia 5.) Spokane, Washington 6.) Providence, Rhode Island 7.) Jersey City, New Jersey 8.) Colorado Springs, Colorado 9.) Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 10.) Burlington, Vermont The magazine used the following factors to determine which cities were best for kids ages 5 to 14: *Number of car-seat inspection locations per child/per state *Number of child predators per capita *Percentage of abused children protected from further abuse *Strength of child restraint and bike-helmet laws Interesting metrics to me personally but I guess it means something. The worst American cities for kids: 1.) Jacksonville, Florida 2.) New Orleans, Louisiana 3.) Baltimore, Maryland 4.) Bakersfield, California 5.) Tulsa, Oklahoma 6.) Modesto, California 7.) Grand Rapids, Michigan 8.) Fresno, California 9.) Oklahoma City, Oklahoma 10.) Corpus Christi, Texas By the way, Chicago ranked 22nd, Boston and New York ranked 39th and 40th, respectively, and Los Angeles ranked 47th in the magazine's list. To see where your city ranked, click here.
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11 things I want Jada to know

(iPhone Photo)

I'm sitting here looking at this little cutie sleep and here's some things I want her to know.
  1. Mommy and Daddy love you
  2. Jesus loves you more than I ever could...and I love you A LOT! ...a WHOLE LOT!
  3. We want God's best for your life.
  4. The sky is the limit, you can be whatever you wants to be.
  5. Love is humble.
  6. I will protect you from EVERY BOY who comes near you, hahaha just messin...but seriously I'll fight em, haha.
  7. We will love you with no strings attached.
  8. You must believe in Jesus for yourself, I can't do that for you.
  9. The power of God that lives in you is the same power that defeated death, hell, and the grave.
  10. You are absolutely beautiful!
  11. God has a purpose for you life!
(This will obviously be an ongoing list but this is what comes to mind now.)
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New-Parent tidbit

I have lots of friends who are new parents and as every day passes I learn something new about God through parenting Jada with Brooke.  Today I was thinking.

We will stand before God for everything we teach our kids AND everything we fail to teach our kids.

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Peer pressure shouldn't...

Loved these thoughts from The Center for Youth/Parent Understanding on understanding peer pressure.  These are great for parents AND youth workers!

The article gave these two point:

"First, recognize that negative peer pressure reaches its greatest intensity during the adolescent years.  Second, recognize that the nature of negative peer pressure has changed since we were teens."

Then article finished with this:

"peer pressure shouldn’t lead us to wave the white flag of surrender. Instead, it should motivate us to do all we can to encourage and equip our kids to stand firm in the midst of their pressure-filled lives. Here’s a checklist—certainly not exhaustive—of strategies you can use to do that: • Realize that negative peer pressure is a spiritual battle that all of us will fight constantly. Like the apostle Paul, we will find ourselves baffled by our behavior (Romans 7:15-24). But like Paul, we can see the way out of our struggle with sin through Jesus Christ (Romans 7:25). • We must pray, pray and continue to pray for our kids in the midst of pressure so intense that it can leave parents and teens feeling helpless and hopeless. • We should examine ourselves and our lifestyles to see how our example teaches them to handle negative peer pressure. Ask yourself, “How am I giving into peer pressure in my life?” • We should model a lifestyle of discipleship and, by doing so, show our kids that following Christ is not always the easy choice but is always the right choice. • Actively help your children realize their value and worth in God’s eyes so that they are less prone to seek their satisfaction by conforming to the images of the world. Kids who have not been reminded of their worth will oftentimes seek to be affirmed by finding their worth in the eyes of their peers. • Get your kids involved in a positive peer group—perhaps a strong church youth group—where following the narrow path that leads to life is celebrated and affirmed by both leaders and students alike. • Help your kids to understand the truth of Proverbs 13:20—that for better or for worse, friends always do influence friends. • Realize that the kids you know and love are in process. In other words, don’t expect them to go from where they are in their spiritual maturity to the level of spiritual maturity they should be at instantaneously. I need to be reminded of this all the time. As a Dad, I like to make my pronouncement and then see my kids embrace it as their own … gratefully and immediately. Then, I remember that my spiritual life’s been a process. Still, our expectations for them and for ourselves should reflect God’s standards. • Finally, be a person of grace. When he was living, Christian psychologist John White spoke and wrote about the pain of raising a rebellious son who was more concerned about following the crowd than following Christ. His book Parents In Pain was written to parents who were going through the same agony with their kids. I remember hearing White say that the one rule he always had to remind himself of as he dealt with his son, was this: “As Christ is to me, so I must I be to my children.” It’s a reminder that’s humbled and served me well over the years. While negative peer pressure is sure to be a part of the world of today’s children and teens, your conscious recognition of the role you continue to play in their lives as they pass through the adolescent years can go a long way in teaching them how to respond to the pressure as ones who image the “colors” of the way and will of their Creator, rather than the “colors” of their peer environment."
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Repost: How to protect your kids in a digital world

Great post from a great parent:

Here's the main bullet points:

  1. Internet filtering
  2. Computer game time
  3. Cell Phone privileges
  4. Cell Phone Limits
  5. iPod Touch restrictions
  6. Email monitoring
  7. Facebook monitoring
  8. TV time
Check it out here
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Don't want to do this

I've been thinking a lot about parenting lately and I've found SCORES of things I just don't want to do as a parent, this being one of them...I'm hoping to find some stuff that will actually work.  Bring on a Parenting Series at GCC.
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Pastor Beeson says...

IMG_8283 Any time Pastor Beeson speaks, I listen.  This is a photo of him speaking to our middle school students at Camp Adventure where he dropped bombs of wisdom all week long! He's got a wealth of wisdom and knowledge that's helpful to me as I chase Christ.  There's a lot of people who KNOW a lot of stuff and have, what most would define as 'knowledge', but as I see it, knowledge without wisdom doesn't get you or those you're influencing very far. Pastor Beeson has BOTH!  His Ph.D speaks for itself and his YEEEEEEARS of faithful marriage, fatherhood , and ministry also speaks for itself! So whenever he speaks, I listen....and he has spoken!!!! IF YOU'RE A PARENT IN OUR AREA YOU HAVE TO GO CHECK THIS OUT!!!!  CLICK HERE TO SEE WHAT PASTOR BEESON SAID.
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When you're face-to-face with hurting teens

I must admit this is an area that's not one of my strongest so I love learning from people who's passion is in this area.  I can have a tendancy to respond too quickly when i'm face-to-face with a "hurting student" so i'm soaking all this free training in. I loved these words of wisdom from Megan Hutchinson.  (Megan's one the high school ministers at Saddleback and wrote the popular "life hurt...God heals" which we used last semester as a midweek study for teens who needed to work through some hurting times in their life.) In an article HERE, she wrote: 3 Valuable Lessons when you're face-to-face with a HURTING student: 1. Sometimes the best experience of church is away from the church itself; just you as a youth worker, alongside a hurting student, over a cup of java. 2. Sometimes the greatest prayer is a silent one when you haven't a clue what to say next. Trusting that God will show up. 3. Students need tangible, practical and often, ongoing care. Offering Life Hurts-God Heals gives hurting students life-long tools to help them through their pain. To check out this curriculum click here: (www.simplyyouthministry.com) 6 words every HURTING student needs to hear: 1. I believe in you 2. I am here for you 3. You are going to get through this 4. You can make good choices 5. You are talented, gifted, rare 6. You matter
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Most sobering video on texting to date

I needed this reminder! This one is sobering...and graphic.  Go check it out HERE.
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