Archive for September 2010

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Jada's first kiss

This was one of the funniest things Brooke and I've experienced with Jada so far.  It was HILARIOUS!  Brought so much joy into our lives!

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Jada talks a lot in the mornings

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CurryStew.org

The new Blog Design is here.  (This photo courtesy of my boy & one of the best photographers I know Dustin Maust.) A few things to come with this new design.

1. More specific blogging on the areas I'm EXTREMELY passionate about. (Family Dynamics, Leadership, Youth Culture - TUNE IN TO SEE WHAT THESE ENTAIL. It may not be what you think.)
2. I'll still be blogging a lot about GSM and Student Ministry stuff but there are PLENTY of great Student Ministry blogs to read out there! If you want to connect about Stu Min go to the "About" tab and contact me.
3. More Photo's!!!! I was never really into photography before coming to Granger but a few years ago I discovered it's an excellent creative & learning outlet for me. Now it's a huge part of my life.  I'm still learning all the post-production stuff but I love capturing moments in time through photography!
4. More personality! I've purposely been pretty bland, to say the least, in my online writing & persona because I felt like you had to be....but if you know me...I'm anything but that...I'm over that...get ready!

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Don’t say -When I was your age- with your kids

Kara Powell is one of the brilliant minds leading student culture thoughts/leadership in our country.  She posted this a bit ago but I just go around to passing it along to you guys.  These are great insights for parents, youth workers, teachings, or ANYONE who works with students.  Sounds simple but I find myself saying it all the time and then I catch myself after.

“When I was your age…” I’m guessing all of us have said that to a teenager or emerging adult we know.  An article two days ago in the Wall Street Journal suggests that might not be the best approach to take these days. Here are some excerpts from the article I found particularly interesting: “Eighty-two percent of those ages 18 to 29 (and 79% of those 30 to 74) believe there is ‘a generation gap’ in America, according to a Pew Research Center poll last year. The gap was defined as ‘a major difference in the point of view of younger and older people today.’ That’s up from 60% of Americans in a similar poll in 1979, and it’s even higher than the 74% registered in a 1969 poll, taken at the height of the youth-rebellion movement. Back then, political and social issues created the gap between baby boomers and their parents. Today’s youth cite generational differences in ‘perspective,’ ‘work ethic’ and ‘technology’—which helps explain their reservations about their elders’ input.” Here are some practical tips from teens and young adults on how to talk with them:

• Question your assumptions: What worked in your youth might have little relevance today.
• Offer suggestions, not pronouncements: Say ‘you could’ not ‘you should.’
• Welcome a dialogue: Listen, don’t lecture; you’ll learn things and give better advice.
• Resist saying: ‘When I was young…’
• Don’t belittle technology: If you’re critical of social media, young people may dismiss you as a dinosaur.
• Accept your limitations: The young understand the world today. Sometimes, the best advice is: ‘Trust your instincts.

At FYI, we are very committed to exploring intergenerational ministry and relationships; we continue to see its importance in our research.  This article reminds us all that we need to be aware of how we sound to the ears of young people

ORIGINAL POST HERE.  If you like this you might want to sign up for the Fuller Youth Institute Blog. They're always bringing the goodness.

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Baby J's getting bigger

This pic was taken two months ago and she's already SO much bigger than then.  It's crazy how fast she's growing!

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Want Results? Get Serious. "VIM" by Dallas Willard

Want better results for anything (Personal life, Family, Ministry, etc)?  There's usually no quick fix...it takes real work!  Similar to dropping lbs...get a plan, work the plan, eat right, & you'll see some progress.  To see results in your spiritual growth...get a plan, put it into action, make the time count & you'll start to see some progress.  It's that simple DC?  YEP!  ...but it won't happen if you don't "work" the plan.

Dallas Willard reminds us that it takes Vision, Intentionality, & Means (Methods)

Vision	Things we need to understand clearly
Intention	Values we need to commit to
Means (Methods)	What we can do to foster transformation

One of the biggest challenges of spiritual development is balancing our part and God's part. If we assume too much of the job, we end up with a works-oriented form of sanctification that leads to self-righteousness, burn-out, or legalism. If we assume too little, we fail to engage sufficiently to have a genuine relationship with God and/or bring about change. Virtually any imbalance in this area severly impacts our spiritual growth. As it turns out, most of us lean fairly heavily toward one end of the spectrum or the other, often unaware of how we are affecting our own lives, or what is needed in order to perform a course-correction. And the more dedicated we are to an out-of-step paradigm, the worse it is for us. Proper balance and participation with God in this matter of growth is precisely what the VIM model spells out so well. In order to engage effectively in this process, there are certian things that we need to re-envision and understand well, there are some values that we need to commit to, and there are certain means available to us by which we can deliberately open ourselves up to the kind of relationship with God that is transforming. Vision Even among Christians who are good students of the Bible and heavily committed to their Lord, we find that after just a few years of dedicated devotion to their walk with God, they often seem to run out of steam and their growth slows down to a crawl. What we now know is that there are actually quite a few reasons why these traditional approaches to Christian discipleship have often had good initial results but are unable to assist us in our development beyond a certain point. And if we will stop long enough to revisit some of our assumptions about what we have thought was the right way to proceed, we can find our way again and move on. I have listed a few of the more signifcant items here for further reading.

• Restoring the continuity between Salvation and the Christian Life (article)
• Understanding the true nature of Grace as a means to live by (article)
• Developing an authentic relationship with God, not an abstraction based on knowledge alone (article)
• Learning how to engage with God for both healing from the past and initiating new growth (article)

Intention Many Christians hope that given enough time, just showing up in church week after week and engaging in various Bible studies will eventually change them into the persons they are supposed to be. Some even put in considerable effort, learning how to teach others, and taking part in various ministries of the church. But as good as these things are, there is only so much impact that they can have on our souls. Getting beyond the reach of our will, to transforming our hearts and minds and becoming different people from the inside out requires direct participation with the Holy Spirit. And in order for us to engage with God sufficiently for change to occur, we have to make sufficient space in our lives for that relationship. Wanting to be different is not enough. We need to actually make the space necessary to engage with God, and then spend time speaking and listening to the Holy Spirit. That's the point of the practices we now refer to as spiritual disciplines. Please note that these disciplines may or may not be related to whatever you may have called a "Quiet Time" or Devotions in the past. If your Quiet Time felt more like eating dust than drinking living water, or more like studying for a test than being cared for by a mentor, you can be sure that something important was missing. And that important something was the Holy Spirit. The point is that we need to develop a working relationship with God that goes beyond study and "obedience." We need arrange our lives to make space for a real connection that feeds our soul and changes our minds and hearts. Means (Methods) Making a space for God can be done many ways. Over the centuries certain practices have emerged that have proven to be more effective than others in opening up a space for engaging with God. But before we talk about what those look like, there is one very important truth that we must nail down in order to prevent our practices from falling into legalism or lifeless behaviors. And that truth is this .....

Spiritual Disciplines do NOT change us !

This is so important! What we need to understand is that spiritual disciplines have no merit or power in and of themselves. We are not better than other Christians because we practice them. We do not become better by practicing them. What they do for us is make a space for us to engage with God. That's all. What happens when we engage with God is an entirely different matter. And having that distinction firmly planted in our minds is crucial. Setting aside time every morning for prayer and meditation is an important thing to do. But the act of sitting down with our Bible, and even the act of reading our Bible is not what develops our character. Our understanding might be improved, and our appreciation for the things of God might be stirred. But when we open up to the Holy Spirit directly and personally, and receive his words into our hearts and minds, we encounter Life itself that is able to change who we are. Our part is to make a space for listening to God. His part is giving us the words of truth and life that penetrate deep into our soul. This is why learning to discern the voice of God is so foundational to life in the kingdom and why developing a conversational prayer life makes the difference between practicing dead rituals and experiencing the power of God to change lives.

Spiritual disciplines do not change us, they only make a space for engaging with God.

Now we can begin to see how spiritual disciplines are good, and why we need to rearrange our lives to make time for them. If you have not yet read the sections on Listening Prayer, please do so now.

(Pulled the bottom Quoted article from Kingdom Formation that I found through a simple "Vision, Intention, Means" Google Search)

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3 Types of Parenting

Student/Family Ministry is a HUGE undertaking and shouldn't be entered into lightly as the stake are towering!  With that said, from time to time it's great to think about how we lead students & the leaders of the students. Here's a great article on parenting that applies to Student Ministry:

"There are basically three styles of parenting. They are: authoritarian, permissive, and authoritative. Authoritarian parenting is when you find a need to be in control. Parents who are authoritarian tend to be strict and rigid. There is little room for error and typically don't allow children to question them. In other words, there is no democracy in this type of setting. Permissive parenting is when control has been handed over to the children. They get to make their own decisions with very little input from the parents. There are no set boundaries and even when the child does something wrong there is little, if any, consequence to their actions. Authoritative parenting is a balance between the other two styles. Children have expectations but they are also given reasons for why those expectations are in place. They are taught to take personal responsibility for their actions but may face consequences for wrong choices. Which style sounds more like you? Think about how you're teen feels about your parenting style. If you are authoritarian they may be afraid to tell you things. Don't we want our teens to open up to us? They may feel like their lives are so controlled that the first moment they can break free, they are going to do it with a vengeance. If you are permissive, your teens may feel afraid. They are given too much freedom and although it may appear they enjoy it, deep down inside they are not mature enough to handle that. They may also feel that you don't really care as a parent. A teen with an authoritative parent probably feels secure and comfortable in their world. They know that there are rules and expectations and they understand why they are in place. They may not always agree with them but they at least know what to expect. They appreciate being able to make some of their own choices and learning from their own mistakes. Yet they also appreciate that their parents are a soft place to land when their world crumbles. Take some time to really think about your parenting style. Are there any changes you would like to make?"

Hope this helps you lead better and coach leaders better. (article from varying sources. You can google "3 types of parenting" to find a few)

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Safest cities in America for Children

According to Men's Health magazine, the Top 10 Safest Cities for Children are: 1.) Madison, Wisconsin 2.) Honolulu, Hawaii 3.) San Francisco, California 4.) Virginia Beach, Virginia 5.) Spokane, Washington 6.) Providence, Rhode Island 7.) Jersey City, New Jersey 8.) Colorado Springs, Colorado 9.) Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 10.) Burlington, Vermont The magazine used the following factors to determine which cities were best for kids ages 5 to 14: *Number of car-seat inspection locations per child/per state *Number of child predators per capita *Percentage of abused children protected from further abuse *Strength of child restraint and bike-helmet laws Interesting metrics to me personally but I guess it means something. The worst American cities for kids: 1.) Jacksonville, Florida 2.) New Orleans, Louisiana 3.) Baltimore, Maryland 4.) Bakersfield, California 5.) Tulsa, Oklahoma 6.) Modesto, California 7.) Grand Rapids, Michigan 8.) Fresno, California 9.) Oklahoma City, Oklahoma 10.) Corpus Christi, Texas By the way, Chicago ranked 22nd, Boston and New York ranked 39th and 40th, respectively, and Los Angeles ranked 47th in the magazine's list. To see where your city ranked, click here.

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Missional Evangelism on Twitter

Thought this was a pretty sweet idea.  3 years is a big time commitment to be doing this..i'm not sure if Twitter will "the thing" in 3 years, but for now it's great. This fits both descriptions of Missional & Evangelism in that this guy is taking the Gospel to the people in their environments.

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If you get teens you...

As far as student ministry is concerned, this should inform how we lead small groups, coach leaders, & interact with students when we see them! It's no myth that a large percentage of people who lead students (teachers, youth pastors, etc.) default to "giving special privileges" to students thinking that will help them see their value but this research proves just "listening" to them is 41% more effective.